Crime Always Pays, brainchild of renaissance man and criminal mastermind Declan Burke (no relation) keeps tabs on all aspects of Irish crime writing. Occasionally, Dec will strap someone into a chair, attach electrodes to sensitive areas, beat them with some rubber tubing and shine bright lights in their eyes while brutally interrogating them about their writing*.
I was lucky to survive such an inquisition recently and, from my hospital bed, I can the reveal the results here.
Thanks Dec, the medical bills are in the post and you'll be hearing from The Boys sometime soon, just when you least expect it.
*Some of this may be untrue or slightly exaggerated.